New month. New life. New me.

I may be exaggerating but I’m serious. In less than two months I’ll be taking this examination. It’s going to be hard—the competition, that is.

So I promised myself from this day on I’m getting serious.

I don’t want to pass the exam badly. I’m aware of the hell that will welcome me if I do. Some part of me does not want to pass. But I don’t want to fail, either.

So there. Getting serious.

I was awaken by a guy’s text message. Great. Good day. But it was also raining. Such a gloomy day, I thought. I went down and had a cup of milk. I turned the TV on and got irritated that cartoons/animes have to show simultaneously. I went up after the only anime I was able to watch.

I read the news. And then some nice posts. I got tired. And bored. I turned the radio.

It was playing,

I’ll be all right. As long as it matters… as long as you’re here with me now.

God, a favorite song! I almost cried. But it was almost ending. I was in love with this song the same time I was in love with him.

Then the radio played Bittersweet Symphony, Rock-a-bye…

The radio went on, and played:

Tonight I’m tangled in my blanket of clouds, dreaming aloud

Things just won’t do without you, matter of fact

I’m on your back

“Excuse me, things actually DID even WITHOUT YOU, matter of fact! It was actually as if nothing has changed. And my god, it’s been four years, for Christ’s sake! Four years and I did great! What am I thinking now!”

And it still went on. I didn’t turn it off. The song was just so good. And I missed it.

If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you.

I missed that song. And I’m missing him. I wish he walked after me. Or I walked after him. It doesn’t matter anymore.

I want you back.

God, I love this day.

Here comes a feeling that I’ve forgotten four years ago. This day I’m going to remember all about that feeling and forget about that exam.