May 2012
5 posts
When can violence be justified? Never.
Don’t make me feel like having, wanting, needing to protect myself. From you.
To The Person Who Thought of Himself/Herself So...
I’ll bitch you and bitch about you until I scare the bitch out of you, you bitch, you bitchy bitch. (I want to tell you this. And do this. But I’m nice.)
May 2, 2012
How did I get here? You make me feel like wanting to leave, like I have to escape. Stop doing this. I want to stay.
May 1, 2012
And every time I hold your right hand I’d go back to this day, and think and laugh and cry at the irony that I am now caressing the hand that hurt me; The hand that used to hold me only gently, the hand that you used to choke me I’d begin thinking how this is my fault but how violence can never be justified.
April 2012
2 posts
April 17, 2012: It's Harder Than I Thought
I miss you. Can’t we really be friends?
March 2012
3 posts
March 22, 2012
Tonight, I learned that I failed on two things: one big fucking exam, and one heck of a relationship.
I’m sorry, Ma. I didn’t make it.
I’m sorry, baby. We couldn’t make it.
Temporary Bliss
Kiss me, touch me, enter me. I will give in; I won’t refuse; you are welcome. But don’t. If you think I’ll love you when you do, don’t. Because despite my moans, the way I kiss you, the way I caress your chest, your back and thighs, this feeling is temporary. The moment it ends, in our gasps for breath, my love ends.
Making love doesn’t solve our problems. It makes...
March 12, 2012
Last year, someone asked you if you still like me. You shook your head. She asked if you love me, again, you shook your head. Even if just a month before, you were in love.
It’s been exactly one year, and today, someone asked me if I still love him. I shook my head. Even if just a month before, I was in love. Last year, you broke my heart. This year, today, I broke someone’s heart....
February 2012
1 post
January 31, 2012: I don't know what to believe in...
I used to not trust anyone anymore because everyone around me seemed to be screwing around all the time.
But then one boy came and tried gaining my trust. Over time, I tried trusting again. And I did. But I learned this day that if you want to hold on over that thing which is trust, never ever check his inbox.
Because I told myself I could trust him. Because I said he was different. And that...
January 2012
4 posts
January 28, 2011. So, it seems the bicycle man is...
It hasn’t been one year since I learned that he loved me. He loved me, I know it. I loved him, too. We loved each other, silently. Because he never told me so (or not straightforwardly, that is), but he showed it. I never told him, nor showed him. So until now, he had no idea how much I loved him. We loved each other. Loved, yes, because it is all in the past. And now there’s no...
4 tags
January 28, 2011
I’m spending the day with my mom, because she just got here today, and I missed her, and she used to be my best friend, but my rebellious nature, my emotional moody self, or my anguish younger years would sometimes get in the way, but somehow, I’ve grown up and have matured a little.
Surrender
I couldn’t move on with the Tumblr challenge because: 1. I got busy; 2. I kind of got lazy to continue; 3. I got back with my ex; 4. There are a lot of things I want to write about more.
“Explaining that his son, when he’s angry, will tell him that Tarantino is a...”
– Michel Gondry Says Quentin Tarantino’s Movies Are Too Mean & Cynical (via nightswimming)
December 2010
8 posts
5 tags
Dear all,
I’ll be continuing the Tumblr challenge when I get to where I’m about to go. If you go back to the list, Day 5 is about a past relationship, so I’ll tell you about my ex-boyfriend.
I’ll be travelling, perhaps it’s more than 200 miles, to the place where we met, loved each other and shared memories. Lots of cheese coming up. No, not really. LOL.
But I guess...
2 tags
It’s been a month since you told me you love me. :)
I wonder if you’re serious, though. But, whatever. I’ll be saving that in my memory.
3 tags
Tumblr Challenge - Day 4
Day 4 - Your day, in great detail
So OK, day 4 should have been the other day, but it was a blah day, where my whole day was just spent sitting on a chair and staring at a computer, so there’s not much into it really. I decided I’d just postpone the Tumblr challenge for the next day since we had a plan for that day, which was yesterday.
So, yesterday was Friday, and we went to an...
4 tags
Tumblr Challenge - Day 3
Day 3 - Your favorite people, in great detail
I think I’d write about my youngest brother. I was 11 when he was born, and in days or nights when my parents were not around, I was like a mom to him. He’s 10 now, too tall for his age, but still acts like a small kid. Maybe partly because we treat him that way, particularly me, because he’s the youngest and when he came to us, he...
1 tag
Hey, dude.
It’s almost a month since we last saw each other. The last time was when you asked me for a cigarette break, remember? Funny, because it’s not actually a break, we just wanted to call it that way. It’s funny how in a short time, we have these shared meanings, like how we give unfamiliar names, that only we know, to some things.
Remember our first cigarette break together? It...
3 tags
Tumblr Challenge - Day 2
Day 2 - What you ate today, in great detail
What I had today…..
For breakfast, I don’t really eat breakfast the past months. Well, I do, if there’s anything at all to eat. Haha! I just had some hot chocolate, put in some rice in it, so that’s like chocolate porridge for ya (haha), bread, and I heated some tuna paella or whatever and rice cake.
For lunch, I just heated...
5 tags
Tumblr Challenge - Day 1
As common as it is (ugh, IKR)… describe yourself.
Hmm… When I laugh, I laugh so hard. I laugh at the most trivial things, like when watching a very funny movie, show or even animes. I love music, indie music particularly, but also New Wave and others. I love movies and literature and everything about arts though I don’t know much and sometimes I think I’m either a poser...
1 tag
Tumblr Challenge
I’m planning to start here a Tumblr challenge. I got this from someone’s blog.
Day 1 - as common as it is… Describe yourself Day 2 - What you ate today, in great detail Day 3 - Your favorite people, in great detail Day 4 - Your day, in great detail Day 5 - Your past relationship, in great detail Day 6 - Craziest thing you did Day 7 - A moment, in great detail Day 8 -...
November 2010
10 posts
November 14, 2010: Do You Remember? Because I Do.
do you
remember you
were drunk last night, this morning
your hands on hers
you were trying to teach her how to drive
but you were on a highway
and you were drunk
she drank a little, too
and you were almost around the city
you were trying to get some coffee
you wanted to go somewhere far but she said no
they were looking for her
you said you could support her
you’re kidding, she...
November 19, 2010: Coffee Shop. People Watching....
11:19:10 | I’m shaking in a coffee shop
What I’d do for him
Wait for him 2 hrs and so on even after he said he’d catch me in an hour. And then finding out he already left without him having an idea that I waited, but still keeping my cool.
What he’d do for me
If my hunches are right, our friend is trying to set him up with a flight attendant. Very beautiful,...
2 tags
I love you. Why are you avoiding me? Why is it that in just a matter of time you’ve changed? You pushed me near the edge; don’t leave me hanging. Now that I’ve already fallen, you can’t just leave me like this.
2 tags
Ready To Start (Am I?)
I was making dinner when it started playing. It was also playing the second night you drove me home, the night I fell for you. We were alone in your car and you kept on asking me. I was too tired and too scared to answer, because I didn’t want to get too close and personal, but there’s something in you or something in me that made me answer question after question. Instead of not saying anything...
About the Wrong Man
There’s no right or wrong, and I don’t believe in destiny crap, but when a man is balding and is fifteen years older and you’ve just met him twice and you don’t know much about him except that you love him, he’s just so wrong. It is so wrong.
But anyway, here’s what I wrote in the first few days of my falling for him. Let’s pray (though I don’t...
4 tags
November
I love walking alone
at night, especially on cold
November nights, thinking, hugging
myself from the cold wind and looking
up the dark sky.
We never had these walks. We walked
on summer nights with smoke and dust
and signal lights. We walked
slowly, just taking our time to lengthen
the distance to my house. Those walks
end our day. After the walk
was an uncertainty of when we’d see
each other...
3 tags
What Now?
The exam is drawing near, and right now I’m just sitting here, in front of the computer, for about four hours now.
There’s been a lot of things boggling my mind. Yesterday I met with an editor from a big media organization. Just after getting on his car and being introduced to each other, he started asking me questions. Questions that would leave you dumbfounded like, “So you...
November 9, 2010
3:05 am
OK so I just finished writing something about him on the day when it’s the anniversary of me and my ex’s breakup!
I had hoped it would be a good transition. From my ex to a decent man. But one, two—yes, I think it’s just two (and a few admirers who just sort of flirted but never dared)—suitors and the decent man didn’t come.
I can’t remember anymore if this is the first...
3 tags
That last post?
Wrote it a month ago. Thirty-six hours later I fell in love with another man.
Life has its own way of surprising us.
About this other man, he’s just not the right man. He’s probably fifteen years older than me, all right. And he probably doesn’t like me either. He doesn’t even have an idea that I’ve been loving him for more than a month now, and been trying my best...
5 tags
10-01-10
New month. New life. New me.
I may be exaggerating but I’m serious. In less than two months I’ll be taking this examination. It’s going to be hard—the competition, that is.
So I promised myself from this day on I’m getting serious.
I don’t want to pass the exam badly. I’m aware of the hell that will welcome me if I do. Some part of me does not want to pass. But I don’t want to fail, either.
So...
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
8 posts
1 tag
2 tags
Learning The Not-So-Hard Way
We always rush into things, which isn’t bad, because time is money and money is just about everything in this world nowadays (but that’s an entirely different story, I know). So what we do is we make patterns that in just one glimpse we already know. Like when you’re taking an exam and you eliminate everything that looks plain stupid. But sometimes one glimpse is JUST NOT ENOUGH....
STEPHEN SAYS, "God did not create the universe"... →
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